Thursday, January 29, 2009

Suggestion #7 Less is More


As many of you have expressed, "It's what's on the inside that counts." But if that's the case why do you blatantly spackle your face with makeup? I'm not a cosmetologist, nor do I have the urge to run down to the Dallas Roberts Academy to learn, but isn't makeup supposed to enhance your facial features? When our dates show up with their faces 10 times lighter or darker than the rest of their bodies, we're thinking, "Why is she packing so much glorified dirt on her face?" It's just as much of a hassle trying to keep that crap from falling off your face and onto our clothes as it is to apply that mess. The worst is when you have a distinct dividing line between the plastered face, hairline, and neck. Now I understand the "powdering your nose" gesture girls like to throw out on you. Ok, we all, one time or another, have had some sort of complicated skin, but why clog up the situation with concealer and powder. Let your faces breathe every once in a while. Take the Accutane, use the Murad, try some Clearasil. The difference between guys and girls is that you tend to rely on quick fix solutions to a nagging problem. Know why few men have complexion problems after their missions? They let the problems run their course. I know running around with a naked face is somewhat of a faux pas or embarrassment to some of you, but be strong and get over it! It's like wearing braces. Everyone has to wear those unsightly contraptions, but it's better than being 26, single, and having jacked-up teeth. And for you girls who think we don't notice the crumbly makeup covering the acne, we do. Here are my top ten suggestions:

1) Cleopatra died in 50 BC, leave the extended eyeliner crap for Halloween.
2) If you don't have full lips, it's okay. Don't try to Angelina Jolie us by adding lipstick above your natural lip line. We don't fake you out by drawing additional muscle striations in our arms.
3)When adding eyeshadow, take a quick look in the mirror next to a pic of Mimi Bobeck. If you two resemble even a little, tone it down...a lot.
4) When applying make-up you should be able to blend the makeup with the skin around hairline and neck areas. If not, scrub your face and start over again.
5) If you're sweating through your makeup, don't wear it. It can get nasty.
6) Just because you have eyeliner, blush, lipstick, concealer, foundation, and eye shadow doesn't mean you need to use them all going out.
7) Wearing make-up to the gym is ridiculous. You're supposed to sweat there. (Remember #5)
8) Naked lips with a little gloss or nude lipstick is all you need sometimes. Continuous red usage puts your look a little on the whorish side.
9) Don't wear blush if you already have Rosacea on the cheeks, silly.
10) If you need to take a break from makeup, do it! Most girls will be fine with just a little mascara.

Could you at least try this out, please?

25 comments:

  1. wait, were not suppose to draw muscle striations on our arms?

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  2. Well, I think you just made it obvious to the world why Mormon girls stay single. Quite frankly, if all the guys out there had the same opinions as expressed above, I would stay single too because I would not want to be married to someone who so presumptuously claims to know what it is like to be a girl and puts himself as the God of all feminine knowledge. Obviously you are far above the rest of the chicks out there. Women, stay single if this is what is available out there, but I can attest that there is hope. I married a wonderful man who respects women. You can too.

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  3. I think he's right on!! And I'm a girl! It's disgusting to see girls who hide under pounds of makeup. Be proud of who you are! It seems to me that the more confident a girl is with herself and her looks the less makeup she wears. She doesn't have to "put on a mask" in order to be herself. I love wearing makeup - to enhance my features! Not to cover up a random zit that then gets worse because it can't breathe! Trust me ladies, guys are looking for the REAL you, not what you look like after a pound of makeup! I mean seriously, what are you going to do when you get married? Are you going to wear your makeup to bed??? Just think about it!

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  4. Amen! Makeup should be subtle -- I don't like dating "painted ladies." And if you rest your head on my shoulder, and later I go to do laundry and find a big tan-colored smear there -- yeah, that's not too fun.

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  5. Anonymous #1

    So sad that you have to encourage girls while hiding behind your tiva-with-white-socks wearing, tuck-in-t-shirt sporting, braided leather belt strutting husband.

    Encouraging girls to be themselves rather than hiding behind a clown mask is not bad advice.

    Ladies, I love you... and I love you more when you are yourselves. (Did I mention I'm single?)

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  6. Yet another excellent post. Girls, this is one of my biggest complaints. I love the natural look! A little mascara and eye-liner is usually all I want to see. We don't mean this derogatorily, we just really do want to see the real you, acne and all.

    Going along with this, please remember that white skin is beautiful. You don't need tan skin, especially not in the winter! You're beautiful no matter how cloudy it is outside.

    Perhaps us guys are just underestimated? Maybe we're not as shallow as girls take us to be..

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  7. is it condescending if its true? What I think this blog is successfully doing is encouraging conversation between us that we have never done before - I think the biggest problems between us are misunderstandings.

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  8. Regarding the latest survey--I think you may not be aware that "nookie" refers specifically to sexual intercourse, not to kissing. You may want to change the title of the survey accordingly.

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  9. seriously, this blog getter dumber by the day. so which is it killer-you want a girl to be pulled together and well plucked or you want her au natural?

    you can walk into any ward anywhere in the world and you will see two kind of couples-a pair of Uggs who found each other and good for them OR a chubbing up balding guy with no style and his lovely thin wife. That's it kids. There are like two legitimately attractive men in the entire church so this blog sorta makes me want to puke.

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  10. Dave??? Bryson??? Are you there???

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  11. Haha! Are they hiding in the internet somewhere?

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  12. Does that mean acne is okay to show? Even if you are a 25 year old grad student?
    Keep the posts coming!

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  13. Is it just me or are there a lot of angry/bitter girls reading this blog who love to comment?

    Next blog- Mistake #17: get a sense of humor.

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  14. For readers that enjoy this blog, I think you should check out the following link. I'm not trying to divert readers to another blog...I just think they both are interesting to compare and contrast :)
    http://singlemormongirl.wordpress.com/

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  15. Love it! I endorse this blog 100% and that means something (not really, but let's pretend). As a member of gentler sex I fully agree with everything said here. I feel for those girls at the gym with the sweat streaks through their makeup and that line of demarcation between the countries of Cheek and Neck. I wish they knew how ridiculous they look.
    So ladies - grow a pair (no, not literally - that will keep you single longer) and tell your friends. Think of it as a service project -For the greater good! Remember Charity Never Faileth. Chances are you could use those blessings. Who knows? Maybe you helping out a friend could lead you to finding that special someone.

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  16. Why don't you spend your time reading the Book of Mormon instead of writing this crap!

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  17. Haha amen to #7, that drives me crazy! I go to Gold's Gym and feel like I have to get dressed up for some active wear fashion show and curl my pony tail to work out, its obnoxious!

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  18. i am a single mormon girl in provo, just like some of you, and i don't take offense to this. it's my choice to read it and it happens to make my day when i read it. so everyone just needs to relax.
    thank you for this blog. it's amazing.

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  19. I could not agree with the post more! I just want to comment on what was said previously Anonymous said...
    "seriously, this blog getter dumber by the day. so which is it killer-you want a girl to be pulled together and well plucked or you want her au natural?"
    I see where you are trying to go with this, but really they don't quite fit hand-in-hand. Just because we don’t want a girl to have a stache, and would appreciate at least some effort in hygiene, doesn’t mean we want you to go to the other extreme and plaster yourself up. Simply stated a more natural look is more appealing when it comes to make up.
    So please ladies, whatever you do, please do not assume this means we want you au naturel allowing your leg stubble to grow, and hair in your armpits long enough to braid. It simply means we don't want you to look like a clown. I doubt I am the only guy that suffers Coulrophobia.

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  20. I definitely like a girl that can "pretty up." If my girlfriend takes 2 hours to get ready and she looks great, then it's worth the wait for me. Girls need to learn how to use quality makeup, I agree that seeing the deference between their face and neck, or when their make-up starts "clumping" it's gross.
    And no guy likes kissing a girl with facial hair, so girls need to learn how to take care of that (nair, laser, whatever).

    Basically it's the girls that can pretty up that gets guys attention, I don't care how mad you makeup hating girls want to deny it, the pretty girls get the guys. Girls, learn to use makeup well!

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  21. First off, what the crap! You spend all this time telling us to "get hot" and then you go and tell us not to wear make-up...? I totally agree with not wearing too much make-up, because it is gross. But some girls really do neeeeeeeeeeed make-up. It's God's gift to women - take advantage, but use it right. It should enhance your natural beauty, am I right?

    Secondly, if you are a real life dermatologist - tell me where your office is and I'll pay you for your sound advice. If not, do not go and tell people to let it "run it's course". That is false! Everyone's skin is so stinking different! A lot of people (girls) have actual hormonal imbalances and they need prescribed creams and pills to kick it. The reason guys have better skin in general is because they exfoliate daily by shaving. Look it up. So your advice should be: go see your dermo.

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  22. Don't forget that makeup tastes really bad!

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  23. No, I think guys are shallow in real life but in this post it appears that they are just trying to cover it up. C'mon, this post is being really particular about how girls should try the "natural" or "less makeup" look. So you DON'T mind at all if a girl looks like she just woke up in bed and got ready in less than 5 minutes? I'm sorry, I'm just being realistic here. Girls put on loads of makeup for a REASON. Surely you must know: the concealer and foundation have a divine purpose!! Girls who suffer from severe acne or blackheads, etc. can't help but cover up OR ELSE, no guy would notice her or maybe they would but gawk at her face hoping all her flaws would magically disappear. No, from what I've learned since puberty, guys only pay attention to you when they notice something's painted on your face. Yes, makeup. Therefore, it is a MUST!

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  24. GENIUS! keep the posts coming...

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