Girls, we know all about it. Guys are disappointed when you hate on the hot chick. It seems like every weekend "so and so" is going out on a another date with a new guy. She's got the act down pretty good, because you know she's not interested in him. So you and your sad, dateless friends mope around all Friday night about how she's taking all the "good guys" from everyone else. You might even spread a little "harmless" rumor to a close (non-interested/possibly gay) guy friend to hurt her future chances. Here's the deal, Stop it. We don't care, we want to date the hot girl too! More than likely you're c-blocking us from asking her out ourselves. A plan of action should go like this:
1) Make yourself hot. We don't care what drastic measures you take. We'll reward your efforts with a nice meal, an occasional movie and a possible make-out (if you'll let us).
2) Date within your means. Don't go out looking for a Mercedes-Benz G Class when you're a Ford Focus (also know your difference between cars). Guys only date down for 2 reasons, they just got home from their missions or they're too old to care about anything else other than sex (p.s. I wouldn't break this to one of your girlfriends already in this situation). Just do whatever you can to follow plan of action #1 and you'll be fine.
3) The non-interested, best friend is interested in you, idiot. Guys never hang around girls because they're "good friends". They are just biding their time waiting for an open invitation for some nookie. Give it to them, they will love you more than any "McDreamy" who's not even wasting his time on you.
4) Give up on sabotaging "so and so." She's always going to be a Betty and you're always going to a Wilma. You just make sure you're the best dang Wilma around!
i'm very glad to know that the climax of my life will be my marriage, & that my goal in getting ready in the morning is to please a man & not simply looking groomed. i was somehow deluding myself into thinking that i was just as worthwhile unmarried as i would be married. thank you for opening up my eyes.
ReplyDeleteAmen and amen!
ReplyDeleteWhy reward the girl for looking hot with a meal if she's just going to throw it up... in an effort to look hot for you? Because you're shallow (you're male, aren't you?) and you demand that.
ReplyDeleteIn which case, I think this proves that both males and females are equally screwed up.
I think what you need to be worrying right now is how you're going to find a wife. Forecast isn't looking too good for you, my friend. Maybe in the next life if you're lucky!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there's a blog out there somewhere called 'Why men are scum'... written just for you! (For your benefit, of course. Sorry, just trying to help you get that Mr. Degree you long for but can't reach cause you're too busy writing about all the girls you're not good enough to get!)
Okay I would just like to say that I love this blog. You PP's and EQP's writing this are hysterical, and its about time someone wrote down what guys actually want and think. Thank you for being honest, I'll check in often! You guys rock
ReplyDeletethis is awesome
ReplyDeleteWoah. What?? Is #3 really true?? And if so how do you give them an open invitation? This is assuming that hypothetically speaking a girl and a guy hang out all the time and go to concerts, dinner, and movies together. It seems to me that it gets to a point where you can only stay friends with guys because you have been friends so long.
ReplyDeleteSo now you are advocating bulimia and anorexia just so that little Ms. 1950's can look perfect for you? When you have a beer belly that you want her to look past? You'll be sorry when she can't even give you children because she is so skinny and her organs are so messed up that she can't even give birth.
ReplyDeleteSo, since I own a Jaguar, I definitely couldn't date someone like you - because
ReplyDeletefrom what you have written, you sound like
you are still on a bicycle and not even one
built for two - I'm still trying to figure
the idea of guys 'dating down'. One more
thing, for 30 years now, I have 3 close male
friends - We love each other absolutely like
good friends do. Yes, they professed their
love for me, each one, l4,l5 and l6 respectively. Now, in our 40's we laugh about it. Puhleeze, you cannot speak for all men,
OBVIOUSLY.