Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Mistake #36 Dress How You Want To Be Treated


I like to criticize. Sue me, but I can totally take criticism like a champ as well. So when you eventually locate me have at it, but until then...

Actions are created by perception. A guy's perception is usually based on physical/visual values and a girl's perception is usually based on emotional/imaginary values. We're going to forget about the female's perception, because this not "Why Mormon Guys Stay Single." This male perception also subconsciously helps a guy determine what type of girls are worth pursuing.

Since men are visual, we like to associate how women dress to how they should be treated. I'm not saying that we go all Chris Brown on you if you wear something slutty, but your dress speaks volumes on your behalf. And because we are wired this way, you will attract a certain guy and a certain attitude regardless of your social status, wealth, ethnicity, profession (or lack thereof), or education.

If you really want to bring out the whole "Girls Next Door" look Pierside Ward, go ahead. Your high school graduation silicone presents complete with 5 inch heels, bottle-blonde hair, uber leathery skin attached to skimpy Bebe Dresses will totally find it's way to that guy who digs you. He's the way "too pretty" schmoozer who has more product than you and just needs a trophy wife. If you can't keep up your part of the bargain, you'll become one of the 30 divorcees in your ward that have already "been there, done that" with the same type of guy.

Or maybe you like the "Capitol Hill" look such as my friends over in the Colonial Wards. Your pale, pasty bodice draped in a sexless Anne Klein pantsuit will definitely get you the attention you're not desiring. That 60-something congressman who dotes on you in private and pretends you are just his "right hand woman" in front of his wife and kids, will just have you around until he gets caught or your internship is over.

Hey Orem & Provo, American Eagle and Abercrombie & Fitch has a stranglehold on your cities. Because you all dress alike, I feel as if this town has about 10,000 middle-class Nadja Suleman's roaming this Wasatch area. With your childlike, vibrant stripes and strategically tattered jeans, it's no wonder your boyfriends all suffer from "Peter Pan syndrome" They'll never grow up and you'll wonder why behind your 500 colorful A&F logo tees.

The "I'm too smart so I shop at Talbots" look over in the Longfellow Park Wards is a little played out. You have girls already in mom mode with your jumpers and 1970-esque Diane von Furstenberg inspired wrap dresses. It's like you don't even care. This saddens us at WMGSS. I'm sorry Boston, they're no guys interested in that and from your recent decline in marriages the proof is in the pudding.

Ultimately it's up to you what you decide to pull out your closets everyday, so don't let me persuade you otherwise. However, cloning yourself like the next girl in your ward bores us. The effort that you put it your dress has an equal reward in the type of guy you attract. I appreciate your attempts at modesty as much as the next upstanding, Mormon guy. By the same token, seeing 3 girls show up in the same ankle boots, patterned tights and floral skirts loses our interest. You'll just attract the same d-bags that still sport their mission Dr. Martens. Refreshingly original girls attract refreshingly original guys. Just remember there will always be more of you than us, so dress accordingly.

40 comments:

  1. Love the blog. Keep the posts coming and don't mind haters who can't handle the truth.

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  2. I heard about this site from a friend. I'm not going to lie, I've read some entries. That said,
    it's quite disappointing to know you spend so much time on this. Sure, all the hits feed your ego. But, I find it rather interesting that everything on here is based on PHYSICAL appearance when in reality, none of you would ACTUALLY marry a girl without spiritual substance, would you? And by spiritual substance, I don't mean a girl who worships your priesthood-bearing soul. I'm talking about a woman who knows who she is and where she's going. That's what's truly attractive. If I'm wrong THERE'S the number one reason for why YOU'RE still single and wasting so much time writing this blog! That, and the baggage you're toting around from all the great women who have seen right through you and kicked you to the curb for being so shallow. Get off you butt, work on YOURSELF and go find a girl with actual substance. Not one who spends her time reading this crap, taking notes, and adjusting her wardrobe accordingly.

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  3. ok, so i have something to say. being a girl and being not anonymous, because i have the guts to say what i want. I think this blog is bomb, bitter at times, and sometimes depressing, but hey thats life. I think this is so true. I mean, ok anonymous two, you want him to look for a girl with substance... but to be honest, if she had substance and she knew who she was, she wouldn't be dressing like everyone else. She wouldn't be cookie-cutter.
    Seems to me that whoever owns this blog, knows what he wants, and knows who he is, because he has opinions. He just has to find the girl to fit that. He is working on himself, because he knows what he needs to be happy.
    So, in conclusion. This blog rocks. It makes me laugh, and you all need to stop being anonymous and be "who you are" *gag me* anyways.. have a good day!

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  4. um.. he didn't say they pick girls worth marrying based on their perception. he said they pick girls worth PURSUING. and THEN they find out about all your beautiful spiritual substance.

    girls do it too. assumptions based on perception are part of human nature. this is legit.

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  5. Very legit. Oh how I love this blog...

    "Refreshingly original girls attract refreshingly original guys. Just remember there will always be more of you than us, so dress accordingly."

    Amen

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  6. Love the new layout. It looks familiar. Hmmm...

    If you are looking for a non-bitter response to your blog, I think I may have it. It's not a full blog, just one post, but I hope you guys can appeciate it.

    http://denveritis.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-mormon-guys-stay-single-interleague.html

    Now I just need to go figure out what to wear so boys will make out with me this weekend.

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  7. Wait, so what do you think girls should wear? You can't just write a blog about what sucks and not include a little bit on what YOU think is good.

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  8. Um. I just think that this is the funniest and best blog I have ever been shown in my whole life. Let me list the reasons.

    A. It is so true, like really, I see all these things all the time.
    B. Girls that get mad, are just mad because they know it is true... or they are upset that someone might possibly be saying they do it.
    C. People enjoy reading it, and will laugh because they can say "Oh yeah, made that mistake".
    D. Do I need to go on?

    So to all you "upset girl".... don't read this blog if it bothers you so much. The only person you are hurting by being offended is yourself, because I am pretty sure that Peter Priesthood, Elders Quorum Pres, Compassionate Service Leader, Ward Mission Leader and Deacon Shuffle don't care if you don't like what they say.

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  9. I fell like this blog can be insightful for some girls. Because in all reality I have noticed that alot of girls need some direction.. maybe none of which is on this blog, but it is seeing things from a different angle for some girls.

    Ok. Let's face it some girls do need some serious help fashionably. My biggest problems with girls and fashion is 19 to 26 ( or higher) that where American Eagle and Abercrombie and Hollister. Oh my goodness good back to high school seriously get a clue.

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  10. the new layout makes the authors appear as sacrilegious douche bags.

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  11. haha this blog is GOLDEN!

    And so very true. I dress the way I do because I like my style. But I tend to like guys that have similar style as me.

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  12. Admittedly there are times I wish this weren't so true, I definitely have the casual romance thing nailed.

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  13. This blog is funny. So is this video. :)

    Let me be your Missionary

    heart,
    Will

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  14. I wish more girls would wear Tetris blocks out on the town. Four of my favorite girls ever. Matter of fact, if all the girls in every ward would wear Tetris blocks around I guarantee "the one" would find them.
    Z
    PS I wish every girl would read this blog and apply every single word this author writes. Would cure all of our problems.

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  15. So, the new look is sort of close to uhm... disrespectful. But its totally cool because any one with have a brain knows they are not reading from the "other" website. So, anyway, this post is ok, but it seems that you guys are getting a little less funny and a lot more bossy. So cool it on the no no no junk and get back to the good stuff.

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  16. Dear P.P. and gang,
    What sort of Mormon guy would go for wool tights, thick sweater (brand unknown, just the thickest one in the closet), skirt (fitted, if wearing aforementiond wool tights), high boots with non-slip soles and no heels, and knit cap flattened hair? Is there hope for a NYC girl in the winter when she has to walk to church? Or should I just give up on dating anyone who doesn't own a braided belt until summertime rolls around again?

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  17. This post is absolute blather. It makes absolutely no sense. You are trying to hard to be articulate and cute with pop culture references that you are not getting your point across. Go back to the basics boys!

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  18. This post is so GAY. And don't even try to tell me the "Compassionate Service leader" wrote it.

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  19. You guys are hillarious!

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  20. oooh that picture just gave me a terrific idea for my next Halloween costume! Thanks! see, this blog IS helpful!

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  21. the girls who bash this blog are in the unfortunate position of having no clue how the male brain works. we can not see the good on the inside unless we see the good on the outside. is that retarded? sure, but that does not make it less true. they fail to see that this post is half educational and half satirical. i pray they learn to tell the difference!

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  22. That's my picture! I feel facebook stalked.

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  23. Come on, clothes really aren't going to make or break it for any guy. And fashionable or unique clothing won't compensate for out-of-shape or crazy.

    Here's a loaded statement: It's what is underneath those clothes that really counts.

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  24. I think the author is pretty on target this one. Even the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet teaches that how we dress speaks volumes.

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  25. Wow. You're a pig. How we dress speaks volumes, true, but you're gonna say that a girl needs to work harder on dressing creatively to attract guys? How pathetically shallow can you be? If anyone can't see past a girl's dress to her true character and what she'll be as a wife and mother, it is the man's relationship with the Spirit that needs a makeover, not the girl's wardrobe. Geez.

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  26. Austin- There is a reason a flower has petals. Its to attract the bees so they come inside to get the good stuff! Same situation with people. You need to dress and look attractively to attract the men so they can then see how great you are on the inside! I'm sorry but if you look frumpy constantly you are never going to get the guys attention. I get that you are a guy, but you are obviously a minority.

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  27. Brittany, the author isnt't saying he does't like frumps- he is bagging on girls who don't have the money or resources to dress "unique". THAT is the problem. I went to school in IDAHO where we had 2 clothing stores in the entire town. And 30 minutes away we had maybe 4 more. You tell me how I was supposed to break the mold with that...

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  28. BTW the author is in California. He is in the pacific time zone because I am in the eastern time zone (BOSTON) and my posts are labeled as being written 3 hours earlier than they actually are. His account is linked to the time zone he is in. That would explain his terribly inaccurate portrayal of East Coast Women....

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  29. I love how annoyed some people get over the comments you make. Reading the comments afterward is almost as funny as the actual article you post because of how many sad little
    single Mormon girls are afraid of a little change in life. Girls may think there are some guys out there that aren't extremely shallow well I say that is a lie because all guys(me included) don't take a girl out with hope that she is a sweet spirit. No we take them out based on what we see before we actually get to know them.

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  30. "If anyone can't see past a girl's dress to her true character and what she'll be as a wife and mother, it is the man's relationship with the Spirit that needs a makeover, not the girl's wardrobe. Geez."

    Very well said Austin!

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  31. I think Austin is the only single guy on here who has a high chance of seeing a vagina in the next year. He's got his priorities straight! Austin's a stud!

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  32. Doubt it.

    I would venture that this "Austin" character is actually a girl with parents who aren't afraid to be creative in naming their children.

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  33. yes i agree, austin will probably be looking up some porn right after he posted some comment trying to portray himself as more spiritual and sensible than all other mormon guys.

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  34. I've enjoyed you blog in the past, but it's getting a little tedious. All you ever have is "don't do that" and "never do this." While you do occasionally throw in some suggestions for what girls "should do," you don't tend to use specific examples. This entry is an excellent demonstration of this. You tell the girls that shouldn't be slutty, sexless, cloned, or frumpy with recognizable examples from wards across the country. Okay that's fine. And you suggest that girls try being refreshingly original. Sure no problem, except what constitutes original? Where might one go for inspiration on original? Have you been to a ward that's got this original concept down pat? Unless you can really give some good suggestions, your "constructive" criticism simply comes off as criticism. And relentless criticism is nothing more than nagging. I’d love to have a reason to continue reading this blog, so please, toss me a bone, and have an entry or two that are filled to with suggestions because that would be refreshingly original.
    Cheers,
    Aleigh

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  35. I agree with the commenters who have said, "well, what do you want?" Some satirical poking fun is always welcome, but if you don't lighten up now and then, it's not very fun to read.

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  36. wow, so the part about the longfellow park wards really threw me off, didn't expect to see that. I did the BYU thing until I moved to Boston, went to LP2 for about a year until I got married (to a girl I met after my first month there). And I can honestly say that y'all hit the nail on the freakin' head with the way you describe it. I actually suggested kinda the same thing to a couple of girls in that ward, but, of course, the advice went unheeded. No wonder the guys never ask any of the girls on dates. Of course, to be fair, the guys there aren't exactly the pick of the litter either so I can see why some of the girls may have given up...in any case, well done, ppl. love the blog.

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  37. Whoever is leaving comments using my identity is SERIOUSLY messed in the head!!!

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