Monday, March 30, 2009

Mistake #42 Nannies


All you glorified babysitters out there, listen up. You are a very peculiar people. First, every other "working" girl hates that you get to watch soaps, talk shows, and Lifetime all day long. Second, guys think you're a joke. Finally, every stay-at-home mom is jealous that you are getting paid to do a piss-poor job at raising children when their only pay are in the form of hugs and kisses. True, I fantasized about hooking up with my babysitter girlfriend back in high school, but your only appeal these days are unhappily married men who believe they finally have something more interesting to check out when they return home.

When we play the "get to know you" game during FHE, nannies are the most saddening to listen to. They all consider themselves an "Au Pair." This is mainly a ploy in making their jobs seem more elegant and refined. Unfortunately the poor girls haven't the slightest clue what this means. First off, an Au Pair lives in a foreign country. I don't care how esteemed and wealthy the family you provide your services for, if you aren't from another country or are headed to another country, drop the French act.

These children are not your children. Even if you spend more hours a day with them than their parents, you still have no ownership of the little rascals. That's your job description, silly. Hearing you say, "my kids" or "my baby" is nauseating. You have no children. You are paid labor. Granted, the kids might even call you "mommy," but you probably taught them to say that because you think it's cute when they accidentally blurt it out in front of their real mother. P.S. that pisses the real mother off.

I think it's kinda okay (not really though...) when you're perhaps between 18-22 years old and a nanny. I can somewhat respect that, but when you're 27 talking about picking up your kids from school, I can't take you seriously anymore. If you like taking care of kids that much, how about making yourself available on a Friday night instead of making Spaghetti O's and tucking in someone else's 3 year old.

Please refrain from telling me, "This job will help me in the real world." No future job you apply for will ask you for nanny experience (unless you're applying for another nanny job.) Telling us that your vacation home is on Catalina Island, The Hamptons, Martha's Vineyard, or Steamboat Springs doesn't impress. First, you're not inviting us, ever. Second, we all know these are not "vacations" for you. You are inside observing little Madison and Jaxson on their Nintendo Wii's, while their parents are outdoors enjoying the real "vacation".

My suggestion would be to hang up the diapers & play dates until you have your own little tykes, and save those jobs for the real "au pairs". But hey, what do I know? I'm still single myself, right?

59 comments:

  1. Haha SOOOO true! You hit this one right on the nose. We get so many girls coming to the San Jose/Palo Alto area as nannies and thinking they are the greatest thing ever.

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  2. I've always wanted to be a nanny, but that's just because I love little kids. And I grew up with 7 younger siblings (Mormon family. What'd you expect?) so I know a thing or two about taking care of them.

    Again, these post are getting less and less funny. I don't come here to look at all the stuff that pisses you off. I come here to have a laugh. If you stop making me laugh, I'll stop coming.

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  3. I agree with Amber. This post is not funny at all. It's mean. I'm giving this blog one more chance for a funny/lighthearted post and if it doesn't deliver I'm unsubscribing.

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  4. Sounds like those complaints are coming from some high paid babysitters. Unless you're taking classes toward a degree, or already have one and just nanny while you make your next plan, you should get over it. Most people DO have a bit of contempt from American girls/nannies calling themselves au pairs and doing all that he wrote about. You're a babysitter who lives with your employers! Own it! Then get a real job! Let those people hire REAL au pairs(the ones who have to work hard to leave their countries just to get here).

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  5. wait, this post is hilarious! i just found your blog and am cracking up! i usually don't comment as "anonymous" but i am on this blog just because i don't want anyone to find my family one. i went to boston for graduate school and used to seriously crack up at women in relief society who felt their job as nannies were were somehow more "heroic" then a woman who was getting say a phd in biochemistry. so so sad.
    and btw, i actually don't think that being a nanny is pathetic as you're describing, because i believe we should all do what we feel passionate about.

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  6. Oh man, so true. Every time a nanny (or even worse, an elementary teacher) gets up in my ward and "bears her testimony" about how much she "loves her kids" it makes me want to stab myself in the eye.

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  7. Well. I am a nanny. I do not claim to be au pair. But this job really is hard work. BUT it's also a job I know I won't have forever. A year max. I really don't consider it a job, more like a life style. For the mom who can't do it herself. So what if we love "our kids"? We have become a part of their lives, and they have become a part of ours. This blog does make sense though, for the girls who are nannies part times. BUT unlike them, I live with "my babies", and I am with their children from when they wake up, to when they go to bed. This job is only temporary, and is not my "carrer". Like "Anonymous" said, I plan "getting a real job".

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  8. Hahaha, I love that most of these comments are "anonymous". Anyhow, I am a nanny, and totally agree with you. But until I make it through school to be a nurse, those are "my kids" and I love them to pieces! Thanks for the awesome posts, keep 'em coming

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  9. i think it's a very mean post, even though i agree with some of these things. i think you should've made it more lighter, even saying the same things. i agree with other people- i come to have a laugh.
    i was and au-pair and nanny, and honestly- i hate au-pair name way more than nanny, there is nothing glamor about it.
    about calling kids "my kids" - i think it's like when i call apartment i live in "my apartment" even though i don't own it.
    really - lighten up, i really enjoyed the blog until recently, but last posts are just way too bitter and unpleasant, like you are smashing somebody personally for what they've done to you. i liked older posts way more.

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  10. true that Olgchka. This site used to crack me right up, but now its just taking stabs at random things. Do I think being a nanny is cool? Sure don't. I actually strongly dislike children and i'm mormon, what a combo. But people who love kids and want to be a nanny, who cares. Sure their testimonies are probably annoying to you, but so are millions of other testimonies that are annoyingfor other reasons. Bring back the funny!

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  11. I really liked the Twilight post, but the recent ones...well, it's been said. While I agree about the Au Pair thing, though I've never known anyone to act this way, I think you are a big whiner. You are just another nit-picky BOY who wants the perfect woman when you are far from perfect yourself. Get over yourself and stop looking for faults in women. Rather find someone who is nice, strong in the Gospel, normal, and who will put up with your high maintenance crap.

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  12. ha ha ha ha, some mormon girls get so pissed when a guy who just came back from spending 2 years in a foreign land getting completely absorbed in another culture and lifestyle can't find anything to talk about beside his mission.
    then they get angry again when mormon guys get sick of every single nanny or teacher using the worn out cliche of how in love they are with "their kids."
    i'm not saying the guys talking about their missions doesn't get old, i'm just saying, if you're going to dish it out, learn to take it as well :)

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  13. So, my roommate just lost her job and the other night we were talking about what she could do next. I think that she decided to look into starting a crack house before becoming a nanny. So true, saying "nanny" at the NYC speed dating activity will solidly make sure that those are the only dates you make it on. Kidding, of course. kind of.

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  14. True, meeting a nanny over the age of 22 is such a turn off. But, I am sure for women, so is a guy in a dead-end job with no ambition.

    Lets be real -- there are only a hand full of men and women who are ambitious enough to make their wildest dreams realities. NEW FLASH... Its not happening in Utah. So if being a nanny for a while OUT of Utah helps you get there, more power to you "sister" (just don't complain to me about how no one will date you)

    And so what if any guy/girl is left behind whining about it. They are simply jealous they didn't have the foresight/work ethic to become "materially blessed" and got left behind in Minivan "Spirit Prison" in Provo.

    Don't hate the playa hate the game.

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  15. Haha what you said can be very true. But let us be realistic for a moment. I am working my way through college, and I bet that it is a lot easier for me as a nanny, making $20 an hour, than it is for most college students doing whatever they do at minimum wage.

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  16. You seem to be piss-poor out of luck with women, and plain old pissed-off about it. Just drawing your attention to the amount of pissing go on in your blog.

    Be of good cheer! P.P. is here!

    Where's the humour gone???

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  17. From the OED:

    Au pair

    Applied to an arrangement between two parties by which mutual domestic services are rendered formerly without consideration of money payment; esp. of a young girl learning the language of a foreign country while rendering certain services in return for hospitality. Also attrib. Hence as n., a person who is ‘au pair’.

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  18. Hmm. Well I wasn't a full-time nanny this last summer but I did do regular babysitting for one family and I NEVER had time to watch TV or kick back. If I wasn't playing with (which isn't really that fun) or feeding the kids, I was cleaning. It was hard and stressful, more stressful than any other career-oriented jobs I've had. It was also way more rewarding.

    Soooo I don't know what kind of women you've been running into. Like I wonder if you've actually met people like this or if you are just exaggerating the truth in order to have something to keep blogging about.

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  19. is this even seriously an issue?

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  20. Okay - I was a nanny/"au pair" in another country when I was 20, which was a while ago. And I have to say, I was not looking for anyone to marry at 20. I was however looking for fun dates and meeting people and was definitely able to do that, so yah, it was the perfect fit for me. BUT...there are also rules/laws in several countries that only allow au paars to do specific activities. Like in the country I was in, you can't do more than 10 hours of cleaning a week, the family has to pay for you to either be in a language course or some sort of schooling, AND they have to pay for your boarding, food, and travel. So...here is the scenario...A 20 year-old female in a foreign country, with school paid for (I went to the university there), all my expenses paid for, PLUS getting paid on top of that??!! No brainer I would do it again in a heartbeat....if I was 20.
    BUT. I did live on the east coast, and I understand about the nanny thing being annoying, you know every year getting a new batch of girls who you will hear the same set of testimonies from that you heard from the last girls that were here with the same families last year....I just figure guys want to get some action and they are the perfect candidates. Am I wrong??

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  21. I think this post reveals the attitude of Mormon men in general that childcare is not "real work." If being a stay-at-home mom is praiseworthy and important, then why wouldn't working as a nanny be a respectable thing to do with your time? Ditto the comment above about elementary school teachers.

    Taking care of/teaching children is hard and it can be done well or it can be done poorly: I admire anyone who is willing to give their time and energy to do it, even if they are getting paid.

    The point is that I bet PP won't take the efforts of his wife in taking care of their children seriously either (if that's what she choose to do) .

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  22. Hmmm...not that funny. But I do think that after a certain age being a nanny or "au pair" (gag) is a little sad. Kind of like a guy being a lifegaurd at age 30 is sad. Some jobs are ok at 20 that are just not ok after 25.

    That being said, I was a nanny most summers during my BYU years and it was fun, paid well, and I never lacked a date. Plus the little munchikins and I spent lots of quality time at the beach...how is that not the perfect summer job?

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  23. I am wondering why PP is getting so much credit for writing about single girls when he is single himself??? Seems to me that PP hasn't adapted to principles of respect, understanding and kindness. These postings, although many shed a glimmer of truth, are full of intolerance, animosity and ultimately are the result of PP's eminent sexual frustration. Sorry PP.

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  24. This is hilarious and I agree with this post. But I guess if that's the career they choose because they enjoy it, good for them. Just be careful looking for jobs after, you can twist your qualifications all you want but you were just a nanny.

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  25. wow. contempt, much? there's dating advice, and then there's just plain judgment. feels pretty much like the latter here. passion and dedication in one's job should be respected - not mocked - no matter what that job is. it gives a little insight to the amount of passion and dedication one has for life - and will have for her future husband/kids. go back to being funny, pp. judgment doesn't suit you.

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  26. where did the funny posts go? like the ones about bad breath and the fashion show at testimony meeting? I want the old un-bitter p.p. back. you are disappointing me. I told so many about you, and now I am like, eh don't read it. it is so bitter. COME ON dearest!!!!

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  27. this is so stupid and you dont know hard being a nanny is untill you actually try it and i agree your posts are getting lame and dumb as each day goes on.

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  28. wait...you're single!?!?!?!?


    shocker.

    this blog sucks.

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  29. I think there is one thing all these nannies who're posting are forgetting... You are being paid to raise some other people's children... Motherhood is awesome! Such a divine calling. But to make it a career, minus the spiritual rewards(cause no matter how much you love "your kids" you STILL aren't sealed to them), seems a bit off. I don't know about bitter sounding. I'm a woman and find it amusing. Heck, my friends who're nannies found this post funny. Try to avoid making more of your job than what it is... You are a servant. You mind someone else's children, do their laundry, clean their house and do their dishes/cook. Many of the aspects of being.... A MOTHER! Moms don't get paid in anything but homemade cards, hugs and messy, sticky kisses. In other words, love. Nannies and au pairs, they are hired help, for all intents and purposes. And at the end of the day, nannies, you are expendable.

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  30. You can think what ever you want but as a past nanny and now VERY Happily Married woman my opinion is that... You can CHOKE on the $250 a day and fully paid expenses I was making in New York three years ago. Girls - Why not get paid now for doing something that most women are inherently good at. And what a better birth control for all of you 20 something girls out there!

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  31. B.S. Why don't you go be a nanny 80 hours a week and then trash it? I certainly thought it was going to be easy. That was before I moved to CT the day after high school graduation. Not only did I watch two young kids but I also worked for a CRAZY mother who was a complete neat freak and would yell at me all day long while her friends called me the slave. Do you think I had a day off? No way. I have been a pharmacy tech and a CNA but I will always say my hardest job was as a nanny. I never watched tv and was always going going going for 12 hours a day sometimes more. Do you think I even had a social life? No. So don't you dare say nannying isnt a real job. With 2 kids of my own now life is so much different. With your own kids its SOOOO much nicer because you have your own schedule and you do things the way you like things done not how a bipolar crazy wants them. Your an ass sorry :) Why dont you get a "real" job and stop writing blogs all day long. Oh and i never referred to myself as an au pair. Im not an idiot, I know that an au pair is from a different country and all my nanny friends from back east knew that as well so I dont know who you socialize with.

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  32. Sounds like you got dumped by a nanny and are still bitter ;) they say nannys make the best wifes. I actually had a guy tell me he only wanted to marry someone who had a been a nanny first.

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  33. I love it when people who hate the blog read and comment!

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  34. you are getting more and more bitter sounding. i miss the funny! bring it back!

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  35. haha...oh boy. well i'm about to crack the code here:

    you're still single because you'll find fault wherever you can!

    have a nice day!

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  36. A few years back I was a nanny in NYC. I was 18 and could not decide what career path to take so became a nanny for about 18 months. I saved loads of money which enabled me to travel to the UK (to meet up with some "au pair" friends) and buy a nice car on my return home. It also opened my eyes to different people, cultures, etc.
    I think what happened is you hit on a nanny that was attending FHE and she rejected you-hence the inspiration for this post.

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  37. Do any girls that have ever toyed with the idea of being a Nanny understand this post? He doesn't necessarily think being a Nanny is a terrible thing but if girls spend there whole life devoted to raising other peoples kids they will wake up when they're 30 and realize there only friends are more nannies and without a family of there own. All though it might pay really well money cannot buy friends or a happy ending.

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  38. Don't knock it as a prime-time job. Here in Los Angeles, you can make $25/hour babysitting, with a 2-hour minimum and it's all under the table money. If you're adult, responsible, able to drive and spend the weekend, you can be making a couple thousand and be booked solid for a month.

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  39. where are the other writers? they were funnier. looks like our friend p.p. took an ego trip and eliminated all the funny in the process.

    bring back the other, funnier, writers.

    or is this your only way of bringing in an income and you don't want to share?

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  40. Out of curiosity, do you have a similar opinion of RA's? Because some days I feel like a nanny. When I move off campus should I not mention my past as an RA? Or do guys stop being afraid of us once they get off their missions?

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  41. Mormon girls are boring. Why would anyone want to marry one?

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  42. No, guys are still afraid of you. Just being an RA at all says something...

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  43. wow I read on a friend's blog to come and read you....I'll have to say this will be my last time. Just the posts on this page make me never want to come back. I've never been a nanny but this is just plain rude. Plus I don't get why girls are taking dating advice from a SINGLE guy. If you were so good at picking out perfect girls....why aren't you married yet??? this is my first and last time reading your blog....plus i'll let anyone know who asks that your blog is a joke. This is not a good way to grow your readership.

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  44. i honestly don't know any LDS nannies over the age of 23 so I don't know what the point of this post is. Mormon girls get master's degrees while the boys can't seem to pull of undergrad.

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  45. I love it PP! Hey, I can't find a guy who has a little ambition. Could you make that your next post. I am super ambitious, the go and get them type and I can't find a guy who seems to have a similar drive. I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about goals (and not living off food stamps).

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  46. why are all the haters leaving huge long comments??! if you hate this blog, DON'T read it. it's simple. I, on the other hand, think it's pretty funny!! and stays pretty true to what really goes on! haha thanks for the laughs!

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  47. What makes me laugh is all the people who say they hate you & your blog, but the only reason they hate it is because they know it applies to them. Then they continue to tell their long dumb story about how they worked as a nanny and it was nothing like your post, because we all know they are secretly looking for your approval. Then they tell you to quit being so rude & disrespectful, as they call you an asshole. I really enjoy this blog.

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  48. You guys all sound the same, how many of you are single I wonder? Single, bitter people. I guess this guy is at least having fun with his sad situation, whoever is writing this blog is for sure the most bitter out of anyone. I feel sorry for you PP, and for whoever ends up marrying such a cynical person.

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  49. This is honestly my first time reading this blog. I've heard about it and haven't cared much since I am married.

    And now I know I don't ever need to come back again.

    Seriously, though, these snarky "Mormon" blogs are lame. Get a life.

    p.s. Taking care of kids all day is hard work whether you are a mother or a nanny.

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  50. I don't hate you and I you are funny (in some ways). And hey, if you are allowed to share your opinion so openly, why can't the rest of us "haters" (I am really not a hater though). BUT, I must disagree with you regarding the nanny thing. First off, you have to consider you are also insulting "mothers" who have the same job as nannies a lot of the time. I was one wayyyy back when and being a nanny to 6 children with an insanely hyper schedule in CT did not allow me any soap opera time (and definitely still don't have that as a Mom). And considering I put them to bed and woke them up and dealt with everything in between - they were very much "my kids" for a year. Seven years later and I still think about them all the time. Oh - and just because you think it, doesn't make it so. Plenty of guys dug "the nanny" thing. Especially the "Westpoint" boys (and I hate to say it, but they were much more the cream of the crop than most guys I dated). In fact, I think more of my friends met their husbands while working as a nanny than not... and they are amazing women/wives/mothers now. I started dating a guy after I had commited to being a nanny, left for a year to work, and he stuck around (and we have been together now for 8 years). And it did teach me some of the most valuable lessons. 1) I can really love other people's children 2) I could handle being a Mom 3)Children need their mothers 5)Organization - Have you ever had to organize a schedule for 6 busy kids and run insane amounts of errands? 4) No amount of money is worth that much time spend away from your children - just a few of the many. I think most nannies get a lot more life experience than other young adults who spend their time focusing on themselves.

    I know that your blog survives off of generalizing and negative, self-righteous rants against those "mormon girls", but really, I would like to hear a post about why you feel you are the perfect prize, or how about a postitive one for a change about the kind of girls you actually DO like. Somehow, I feel that Heavenly Father isn't too impressed with the constant knocking of his daughters. It is easy to be negative and funny. Takes a lot more creativity to be funny AND positive. And being a nanny... isn't that a JOB? To say that is the complete description of the one preforming that job, seems rather, errr... shallow to me.

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  51. haha westpoint boys :) That is so true! Almost every girl in waveny park ward has at least gone on a date with one. Its either going up to westpoint or going to the yale ward that is quite popular.

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  52. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

    I think this is funny for a few reasons {but, I'll keep those to myself}!!!!

    btw, I like the new look!

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  53. Just found this today and it was hilarious and so true. The guilty take the truth to be hard I see.lol

    First, the poster is not downplaying the importance of raising kids or anything like that. His point is if you want to really say "my kids" and love taking care of a household so much, then get your own. Quit playing pretend with someone else's family.

    Next, I could be wrong, but I don't think he really cares how fulfilling all your nannies find your job to be. He is saying as a guy, he has a hard time taking a nanny seriously as a profession. And as a guy, I agree. While it can be a great job while in school, I meet more nannies not in school that=n who are. Also ever tried to plan a date with a nanny? Dating single parents is easier. Now yes, I'm sure some nannies have a more open schedule than others. But overall, nannies are rarely available for serious dating.

    And because he is single, he can't have insight into the dating scene? So can only junkies give anti-drug advice? Get a clue people. Mormon girls, in my experience, have been some of the most in denial girls I've met. I've never met a larger group of girls less willing to change or improve themselves. I've actually been told "Jesus loves me the way I am and you should too". What?lol

    There is good advice here girls.

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  54. haha! I lived in a part of the country where the majority of the singles' ward was made up of nannies...Oh, the memories of those nannies.

    Here's my theory: the Nannies are like locusts - First of all, they were always going around in this giant mass. And, you know how locusts, without communicating, can all simultaneously turn direction? The nannies are the same - they share that same instinct (I hesitate to say brain). Oh...the nannies... they would hover around the newest dude in the ward, and then they would all get up/change direction in the exact same instant.

    Plus, You always know - where there is one nanny, there are 75 billion more...

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  55. I've really liked reading this blog...but felt the need to comment on this post. I'm married...in my early 30's..and I'm (still) a nanny. I put myself through college working as a nanny, and though I'd much rather work in marketing, in this economy being a nanny has proven much more sustainable. It's definitely not as exciting to talk about as a new advertising contract, but it pays me more. Though I've never felt "glorified" in this job, it's a job. FYI: I've never hung out with other nannies, I don't call the children "mine"...and most nanny jokes are very funny.

    However, just so you know P.P., I make a low six figure income...so don't look too far down at me :)

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  56. okay, I was a nanny for 12 years. Lots of professional parents dont have the time or energy it takes to supply their kids with the love, support, creative energy it takes. I helped raise these childeren. You are ignorant for insulting nannies- you obviously have no idea what the job intails, and what a huge gift it is for society, the kids, tha families, etc.

    get a life and find something less offensive to gab about.

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  57. Freaking Great! Nannies Are Just Pissed Because They Realize It Is True.

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  58. a.
    not ALL nannies do a terrible job at raising their "paid children". they obviously are doing a better job than the real parents becuase they are present.
    b.
    i am a nanny and have been for 5 yrs, and i hate it. not all of us love it.
    c.
    everyone is annoying in some ways,
    but homes, im married and have been for awhile. not to brag, but i had quite a few opportunities to get married ( while i was dating the different boys of course) and they all loved the kids i nannied.
    d.
    youre right its stupid to pretend youre a mother before you really are, but hello...same with any internship. pretending you are working in that department before you are.
    e.
    it does prepare you for the real world. being a mother.
    i suggest you find someone who HAS had childcare experience to marry so she wont freak out with a screaming child or throw up all over her or a diaper filled with diarrhea.
    have a good day!

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