In the early nineties, the animated film industry experienced a renaissance, bringing us such classics as Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and the Little Mermaid (damn those sea shells). As a result, every Mormon girl from the past two generations has spent their formative (and post-formative) years studying the Disney animated cartoon cannon.
Having practically been raised on such wholesome entertainment, many Mormon girls have been brainwashed into patterning their lives after the Disney heroine of their choice.
While I, too, love Disney animated films, I have no delusions of falling in love and marrying Belle, Jasmine, Tink, or Ariel—no matter how tempting it is to get my hands around their animated hips.
Don’t get us wrong. We dig girls with imagination, but dreaming up life as fully-colored, hand-drawn heroine isn’t exactly what we had in mind—it just seems a bit too, what’s the phrase, cartoonishly unrealistic.
Nonetheless, reality is reality. Mormon girls dream life in Disney. So, that leaves men figuring out what character it is that we’re dating. Here is character number one among many:
Ariel (Little Mermaid)Ariel is one of the hot, freshly hatched spring-chickens. She is young, beautiful, and adventurous, striking jealousy in the hearts of many of her older (RS) sisters. When it comes to finding an EC, Ariel shoots for the stars. As if it isn’t enough to want to marry a guy with legs, she has to pick a prince! But while her personality is charming and beauty alluring, beware—Ariel’s got a naughty side, too. She has difficulty obeying her father’s commandments, her curiosity leads to mischievousness (she’s always up to something fishy), she has been known to make deals with the devil, and worst of all, sometimes she can be a bit of a princess!