It’s 8:45pm on a Friday night and you just got home from the gym. The night is pretty much a wash, because you didn’t make any definite plans with anyone. You look over towards your DVD case for a chill movie for the night and all you see are the usual suspects:
13 going on 30, Serendipity, Notting Hill, The Nanny Diaries, The Notebook
Sweet Home Alabama, Grease, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Wedding Planner
Center Stage, Grease, Never Been Kissed, Dirty Dancing, Father of the Bride
Runaway Bride, Clueless, Romeo & Juliet, Sleepless in Seattle, Titanic
You've Got Mail, Legally Blonde, Moulin Rouge, The Devil Wears Prada, Sex and the City
Ever After, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink
Guy: (9:26) Nothing much just chillin (AKA Watching the NBA on ESPN)
You: (9:26) How was your week?
Guy: (9:30) Pretty good, yours?
You: (9:30) Well, I passed my MFHD test that I was totally stressing out on. (Why did I send that?!?!)
Guy: (9:39) Cool (He’s totally watching ESPN and not paying any attention to you)
You: (9:39) I also went shopping with Jen and got this super cute dress from Anthropologie and this lil’ two piece swimsuit from J.Crew. (Dirty move, but it was necessary)
Guy: (9:39) Swimsuit? (You’ve piqued his interest!)
You: (9:40) Yes. I’m getting my gear now, because swimsuit season is right around the corner!
Guy: (9:41) Yeah, I can’t wait to go the beach. (Wow a full sentence!)
You: (9:41) I know, right? I can’t wait to strip these heavy clothes off and head down south. (Hook, line, and sinker)
Guy: (9:42) What are you doing tonight? (Um, basketball is off the agenda & he’s thinking BOOTY CALL!)
You: (9:43) I’m just working on my fitness, trying to get my abs right. (As you stuff in the last crepe)
Guy: (9:45) I respect that, well what are your weekend plans? (Still trying, but not acting to eager…)
You: (9:50) Pretty busy tomorrow, but I will text you and maybe we can do something. (Just got the upper hand)
Guy: (10:21) Ok, that’s cool.
Guy: (12:11am) No I can’t sleep
You: (12:11am) What?!?!
Guy: (12:12am) Oh, that was meant for someone else. (Whatever dude…)
You: (12:13am) Oh really, a girl? ;) (Clever way of garnering info)
Guy: (12:15am) No, but you could be that girl. (Definitely a flirt)
You: (12:16am) lol! Well, I’m already in bed (you were totally waiting for that reply the whole night)
Guy: (12:18am) Well, I’m not that forward. (Unless you’re gonna do it…)
You: (12:20am) Have a good night! TTYL!!
Guy: (So close, couldn’t seal the deal)
You: (He’s so into me…he is totes going to ask me out!)
Girl: (Waited all day for guy to take initiative)
Guy: (Waiting all day for girl to respond)
Girl: (9:07pm) Oh hey there :)
Guy: (Wait for it…)
Girl: (9:13pm) Are you there???
Guy: (9:17pm) Sorry, I was busy (Trying to get the upper hand)
Girl: (9:20pm) (Feeling mixed signals) Oh ok, well I won’t bother you then.
Guy: (9:20pm) I’m free now, just finishing up my talk for church
Girl: (9:23pm) (Feeling too guilty for a Booty Call) Oh ok. Well, sit by me at Church tomorrow?
Guy: (9:30pm) Yeah sure (wtf just happened?)
Guy: Silence
Girl: Silence
Girl: Yeah we’re kinda seeing each other I guess.
Random Girl: You’re so lucky to get the guy you want!
Girl: (sigh.) Yeah.
Guy: Yeah we’ve been talking the last few days
Random Guy: Yo, that’s tight man! Get that!
I loved this entry. It is very true and sadly that is why it is funny.
ReplyDeleteAgreeded
ReplyDeleteI thought I was relapsing for a moment..but I realized it was just me reading the blog. Wheww.. good this is 100% correct. Girls are not smooth operators, stinks for them
ReplyDeleteDon't have a relapse Elder! You can't go back to those days before the mish where nicmo was your middle name and the next booty call was the next thing that walked by with a booty. You have an amazing woman who loves you, and believes in the atonement, lucky you. Also some women are very smooth operators. Just because I'm the roughest operator in town as demonstrated on Sunday doesn't mean other girls aren't. Caryn doesn't count either. haha
ReplyDeleteI don't own a single one of the movies listed. Although I will admit that I have nearly bought three of them and still wouldn't mind owning just those three. But I will also say that before I had to move back in with my parents, I kept all my dvds neatly alphebetized. Not so I could keep track of what I had loaned out (I didn't loan them out), but just because I liked them that way.
ReplyDeletesoo many things inappropriate in this post...
ReplyDeleteinappropriate for what? sacrament meeting? yes. a blog about dating? nooooo
ReplyDeleteSpot on, yet again. A tip 'o my hat.
ReplyDeleteThis was pretty accurate lol! But don't blame girls 100% of the time. Yes, girls shouldn't be initiated conversation and flirting like that via text. But some guys seem to be asking girls out less and less these days and then the whole hanging out thing happens and then texting happens. I STILL think guys need to grow some and ask the girl out! What happened to the guy picking up the phone and calling too?
ReplyDeleteHilarious! And sadly, so true
ReplyDeleteOkay. New reader here.
ReplyDeleteSo here's the deal. This scenario is only true up to the point where the girl assumes the guy likes her. If it's a Friday night, and this girl starts getting the itch to text mid chick flick, this girl is looking for a booty call to pass the time till she meets someone she's actually into and nothing more. If she actually liked the guy she was texting and trying to trick him into asking her out so that he can eventually be the father of her babies, she would have done it on a Thursday night so she wouldn't have to resort to the gym and The Notebook on Friday. You can find girls that are easy enough to get the ball rolling on a booty call and you can find girls that are dumb enough to think that girl-initiated texting is the key to starting a serious relationship, but you would be hard pressed to find both qualities in the same girl.
And this:
"Random girl: I saw you sitting by your crush today!
Girl: Yeah we’re kinda seeing each other I guess.
Random Girl: You’re so lucky to get the guy you want!
Girl: (sigh.) Yeah."
Seriously? I don't know any girls that are as ridiculous as you suggest they are with this little exchange. But I guess if you didn't embellish and distort the level of desperation, this blog would be pretty dull. So...anyway. Just some thoughts.
This post is SOOOOO not true... Only losers like the author(s) would get into such half-ass IM/Text/E-mail exchanges. Every guy I know will take charge. That's why the author who is not man enough is throwing hissy fits like this.... You can't hack it, can you??Loooossserrrr.... Hope you stay single forever... Looooossseeerrrr
ReplyDeleteGrease is on that list twice
ReplyDeleteHate to say it -- but, I just have a feeling that the writer seems like a bit of a jerk. I'm new to the site, -- and this will be my last time visiting it.
ReplyDeleteif the booty is what you want..then get that...if its relationships you want...then get that...but for sure girls need to just stop taking whatever is sloppily offered to them by whats his face of the moment.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ldsdatingtips.com/get-what-you-want