Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Inbox: Thanks for Responding...

Good Morning!

After a wonderful sleep last night, I woke up to one of my favorite comments thus far. I mean you guys are amazing. I just love you to death! Oh and I left her a message too! I will always return emails. I removed the names to save your face (you know who you are). Besides, I'm not a relationship-wrecker. Save that for Sienna Miller.

On Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 12:55 AM, Some nice young lady wrote:
This isn't hate mail, but it was my favorite choice of comments, suggestions, or hatemail requested by your narrowed plea. What about musings? Maybe you could add that. Wait--I think this just became a suggestion. (Oh snap) I think your blog is hilarious, though necessarily biased. I know who you're talking about--mousy-haired, slightly chubby, pale, smart, English-major Mormon girls who dress as though GAP is the only retail store on the planet. You're forgetting the attractive (I guess in man-speak this means "hot"), intelligent, ambitious girls who complete their educations and pursue careers...oh wait, from the misogynistic entries you must be directing your blog to them too. (So I guess this now just turned into hate mail). I dont' have a problem with you teaching girls how to attract men, but I do bristle at the insinuation that education and career and intelligence automatically mean "ugly." I'm really hot. (Yeah, there isn't anything leading from that, I just wanted to say that I'm hot.) Also, you criticize expensive taste in one suggestion, yet condone it in another. So wait, I can't wear my Mahnolos, but I should wear my Burberry? Your hypocrisy is further exposed by telling girls to look hot. I'm sorry, but Buckle and AE aren't (ha!) gonna clean anyone up pretty. I think it would be interesting to do a partner blog about hot girls who date down--they marry the funny, slightly overweight guy who happens to be really sweet. Or loud, really-not-as-good-looking-as-he-thinks-he-is, life-of-the-party guy who still believes that his popularity in high school entitles him to as many hot honeys as he can score in one NCMO session. I mean, really, I see hot girls with less attractive guys all the time. I married (I tend to think of him more as a boyfriend) someone who isn't as hot as I am. Did I mention that I smell great, give lengthy massages, and LOOK REALLY HOT ALL THE TIME? I also have a great butt. Really firm, slims down into long, shapely legs. Anyway, hot girls marry dumpy guys all the time. This is a pretty non-directional, random email, which is why I didn't have a classification the first place. I figure I might as well try to hit all three requests, so here's a comment, suggestion, and hatemail all in one.
You suck. You. Suck. YOU SUCK.
Have a lovely day!

Hi Mrs. Some nice young lady,
First off, thanks for the suggestion of musings, I will add that to the blog! Second, kudos for taking the time out to write me, your email length suggests more than just a passing interest, but I will refrain from assuming. I like smart girls. Especially smart girls with glasses. You'll read about that post later, I hope...Smart girls are much more palatable during dinner. I know what "hot" means, but I mentioned it because it's a universal term used by my guy and girl friends alike. However I personally don't think it's definitive enough. i prefer "Pukka" but I assumed you and a host of others wouldn't understand that one. I'm all for careers, I don't care what you do, but I hope you're very successful. Misogynistic? I believe one can formulate this as that type of genre, but what piqued your interest to the page? Was it Why, Mormon, Girls, Stay, or Single? The "ugly" comment was a very base generalization and I have learned from my first mistakes. Thanks. Congratulations on being "really hot". Either you are in Key West or you are speaking of your characteristics, because I'm sure you're husband enjoys that you are so secure about your body that you just told a random blogger about it. I personally think your husband is guy I can look up to. I mean he totally tricked you, considering you are 12 times more attractive than him. It's sad you feel this way about your husband, however. Besides girls never marry down. Guy's usually do the proposing, right? There is always an ulterior motive if you claim you do though. How about you tell him yours sometime? Also you are comparing apples to guava. Manolos average easily over 400 dollars and that Burberry perfume I suggested, a measly 30 bones. Actually the Vicky's perfume is more expensive, but that is neither here nor there. Anyways, thanks for the email, I know it was late when you wrote this and maybe and your husband's was probably waiting for you to finish up this email. Your priorities are a little off, by the way. I hope you don't mind me responding to this email on my blog (sans your real name, of course!)
You Rock!!!!!

P.S. You don't really consider Buckle and A.E. High you? And don't think I didn't notice your circa 1999 Oh Snap comment.


  1. I'm sure you have a nice body, Mrs. Some Nice Lady. But given that you do, this begs the question: why did you settle?...

  2. The burden of proof is on Some Nice Lady. She should probably provide evidence that she is hot. Measurements, perhaps.

  3. i just love that peter spelled manolos right and some nice lady didn't! i need to meet peter!!

  4. Some of your posts are slightly amusing, but only because they shed light on ridiculous behavior of both sexes. Overall you seem like bigoted, misogynistic, full of yourself idiots... Maybe you guys are the reason so many amazing, hot, intelligent Mormon girls are CHOOSING to remain single. GROW UP!

  5. You know, I'm not being facetious at all.
    But all my straight friends have no idea
    about the spelling of Manolo Blahniks

    I'm starting to get the picture - fragrances,
    fashion, and shoes.

  6. Oh, this poor girl. Obviously, she wouldn't know a Manolo from a louboutin, and suffers from classic false-entitlement syndrome. She probably attends community college, and somehow thinks that because she did the charitable thing, and married an "ugly", her life is going somewhere great. Peter, I think you rock. If anyone here has anything negative to say about what you're writing, It's probably safe to say that it just rang a little too true. The sad thing about my fellow sisters, is that we would all like to believe we are of infinite worth with very little effort. Let's get real girls. We could all try a little harder to be a little better.

  7. I know a girl who, not gonna lie, was pretty cute the first time I saw her. As I got to know her, I realized that she was the most despicable person I have ever met in my life. She was self-described "hottie", a dancer, and a model, and I don't know if I could possibly be more disgusted with her. She is full of hate and venom that she spews on a regular basis. She's getting married soon, and words cannot describe how sorry I feel for her groom to be. Ladies, don't ever say you're hot. Ever. Be confident that you look good, but don't call yourself hot. Once you do, you cease to be such. I'm just sayin...