Monday, January 12, 2009

Mistake #3 Worrying about the Spring Chicken

Girls, did you just see what walked into chapel this morning? I did. It's the freshest new batch of Spring chickens. All fresh out of high school and ripe for the picking. As the 18 and 19 (kindergarten was a little difficult for a select few...) year olds venture out from Mother Hen's wings, they are bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and easily persuaded. As guys, we like this "perfect storm" as it gives the less talented of our species practice on scoring a "malleable" girl. These are the one's you can snatch up and mold them they way you want without all those set ideals the "women folk" already have ingrained in their seasoned years on the dating scene. Even as they make their way to Relief Society, the second halves (those aged 25-31) already have drawn the Mason-Dixon line between them. I seriously don't see the problem. Every single one of you were that age, it's not their fault you're 26 now. Everyone told you to watch out for the "Freshman 15" as your Snuggie fits like a sweatshirt now. Career? No, that's what the unfortunate ones say who missed the pretty boat. So what if they were born in the 90's. I personally liked the 90's and now will try to enjoy the fruits thereof. Girls, worrying about these little teenagers only adds a couple more wrinkles to the forehead and crows feet around the eyes. Instead of using your hard-earned "career" money on going to Duck Beach for your guy hunting adventures, you"ll have to succumb to premature Botox injections. My suggestion is to teach the little ones the ropes. Help them with their eating habits (you've been there...) and show them which guys are less than desirable. And then maybe, just maybe they'll practice charity (from last weeks Laurel's lesson) and throw you a of their rejects.


  1. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. HAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love how you get right to the point. You've obviously been around a little while so you're not a spring chicken anymore yourself. So if you know so much, why aren't you married yet? Or do you need a few pointers yourself?

  2. How do guys generally feel about dating an older girl? I personally love the spring chickens, its almost nostalgic to chill with them, PLUS they aren't pissy to be with on a friday night unlike girls "my age" who complain about not dating. Not to mention that the old guys are "too old for them".... so what am I a last resort?? No thanx, I'll take the younger, vibrant, unscorned (and adorably awkward)newly RM-ed.

  3. Dead on! We either hate them or we start in on the man hating, so take your pick.

  4. Oh geez, I have to say that I totally am
    enjoying being a cougar. Amazing how men
    drool. Newest batch - did you actually
    say 'ripe for the picking'? out of high

    Tells me that you are not one for post
    secondary education and to me, that
    is an instant turn-off - go ahead. Talk
    to someone who is in love with the Jonas
    Brothers. hahahaha. Is this for real?

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  6. I thoroughly enjoy this blog. Thank you for the laughs, insights, and advice. Good luck in your continued dating and people-watching pursuits. Oh, and thanks for the idea for this blog I'm starting. You might like it :)