Monday, January 12, 2009
Mistake #1 Beyoncé Knowles
Beyoncé sure can give a single Mormon girl a false sense of hope! As many of you are aware, when one of Beyoncé's latest singles, "Single Ladies (Put a ring on it)" comes through the speakers, a euphoric trance envelopes every single lady in the room. In one fall swoop hands raise, and right index fingers point to left ring fingers as if to demand something that is not yet rightfully theirs. From the inspiring words of Beyoncé, girls scream, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." Girls, this kills me every time. What is "it" you are referring to? Personality, demeanor, intelligence, creativity, body image? Nope. It's a finger. Well, I guess I've noticed various fingers in my lifetime. Some are thin, some chubby, some short, some arthritic, some with ratty nails, some with whorish nail polish, but none that scream, "Awe shoot girl, I need to stick a ring on it..." And furthermore, I gather from the lyrics the guy left the girl and not the reversal. So a more realistic anthem should be, "If you want a ring on it (your finger that is) then take notes from your ex boyfriend's new girlfriend" In closing this song is annoying to pretty much any guy you're interested in. I hope you're fitting in those Deréon Jeans too.